Rebecca Duvall

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I Know!

candy basketFor those of you who have children, I’m sure you will agree with me in saying that each of them is different in many ways. We have three kids. Our oldest daughter is in her Sophomore year in college and our younger daughter is a Sophomore in High School. We also have a son, who’s in 6th grade.

One loves chocolate, another sour gummy candy and the other any kind of candy. One is extremely active, while the other two, well, not so much. They each do very well in school, not that they always enjoy it, but they do work hard and take pride in their work. However, they each enjoy different subjects. Two of them are very creative and two of them are very good with a computer. One likes to read and another prefers to write. The other, well, they prefer neither.

The one commonality I’ve noticed all three of them have is their psychic ability. Yes, my children are psychic! How do I know they’re psychic? Every time I tell them something to do, like empty the trash, come down for dinner, brush your teeth, their answer is ALWAYS ‘I know!’

I think this psychic ability is fairly new. They might have received these abilities sometime this school year. At first it was annoying to always hear ‘I know!’ My response was always ‘Then why are you not doing it?’ Now I think it’s kind of funny. Recently I started saying things like ‘hon, call the press, our kids are psychic.’ Or ‘shhhh, don’t let anyone find out you kids are psychic.’

Sometimes I just stand in their doorway or open the door to their room and they’ll say it, ‘I know!’ I usually laugh first and then walk away asking them when they planned on getting it done.

When I first noticed their psychic ability, I thought it would be neat to know what was going to happen before it actually happened. Then, as I thought about it, it would mean I would always be expected to be doing something. The something I knew that needed to get done. Always knowing what was going to happen would also take the excitement out of waiting to find out. Yes, sometimes waiting is annoying, but usually, it’s stimulating. I think it causes your creative mind to explore the many possibilities, and that helps us grow. Exploring possibilities is healthy and it stimulates our senses.

Now that I know my children are psychic, the trick is getting them to act on this new wonderful knowledge they have. How do I get them to actually get up and do what they know they need to do?!

After I noticed my children’s response to most of the things I asked them to do was ‘I know!’ I wondered why this was their response. Maybe what I’m doing is nagging them to do the things they need to do. Maybe, I need to back off and give them time to show me they do indeed know, and will do it, in their time. They each have their own way of doing things and organizing their tasks. Maybe I need to let them be the individuals they are.

I run the house a certain way and in a certain order. It’s difficult, at times, for me to let them each become their own accountable individuals. I have to be flexible and learn to accept things being done differently. This is easier said than done. When something isn’t done when I want or need it to be done, I get frustrated and start nagging. I guess I need to work on my patience. Well, maybe just a little.

Everyday, being a parent is a new challenge. It’s always exciting (not always in a good way) and always changing (thank goodness, because I get bored easily). Each morning brings a brand new adventure with so many possibilities. As hard and frustrating as it can be at times, I wouldn’t trade it for anything or go back and do it differently.

I trust God gave us these three wonderfully crazy kids because my husband and I have what they need. He will enable us to do for our kids what they need us to do. We will not only teach them as we raise them into adulthood, but they will each teach us along the way as well.

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for the gift of children and their honest way of interpreting the world around them. Lord, I pray you open our hearts to receive the knowledge you have given them and help us to respond to it in a way that is pleasing to You, Amen.

 

teach-me

Who Would You Be?

 

My 10 year old son loves to ask me questions like:

Would you rather eat a cat or a dog?

Would you rather clean vomit or poop?

Would you rather get stabbed in the foot or hand?

Whose better, Batman or Spiderman?

questionsA few weeks ago he asked me “If you could be anyone, who would you be?”  After a few seconds of thinking I said “That’s easy, I would be me!”  With a puzzled look on his face he asked me why I would want to be me if I could be anyone.  I smiled and told him being me meant I got to be his mom and I thought that was pretty cool.

I believe God prompted my son to ask me that question that day.  You see, I’ve been struggling with my place in this world lately.  Questioning if I should be doing more than ‘play’ mom.  I’ve been feeling less than everyone else.  Feeling as if I need to be contributing more to this world.

In the moment my son asked me the question, I realized being a mom is what I enjoy.  Of course I want to continue doing what I enjoy.  Anything else that comes along in this lifetime is an extra perk or bonus.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying being a mom is easy or always wonderfully pleasant.  It’s usually complete chaos and overly exhausting.  That’s what I love most about being a mom.  There’s never a dull moment.  I would pick being surrounded by my family, filled with chaos and exhausted, over boredom 95% of the time.  Not 100% of the time because everyone needs a break from time to time, and I do look forward to those times just as much as being thrown into the thick of it with my crazy weird family.  I am the queen of crazy and weird and I am the one who taught them how to be that way.

When I say chaos I don’t mean it in a bad way….usually.  I mean everyone needing something at the same time; Five things going on at once.  My favorite part about being a mom is having many things to get done and figure out, knowing God has it all covered.  I love seeing God work within my chaos.  What’s hard is when I forget God is in the middle of it and think I have to do it all on my own.

Praise God for the moments I begin to feel alone or overwhelmed and He steps in to reassure me He is there and He loves me.  By a gentle whisper, a song, a friend, a story or even my son.  Isn’t it beautiful how God can change our perspective in a matter of seconds?  How has God helped you see things differently recently?

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever” John 14:16

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, I thank you for the gift of family; mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children and all our other family members.  I pray we always remember they love us. I pray we see them through Your eyes Lord, when it feels difficult to love them, Amen.

* My answers to the above questions: Whichever is smaller;  whichever is less runny; hand because I wouldn’t be able to do mommy chores for awhile; neither, Ironman rocks!

 

Wonderfully Maddening!

Being a parent is wonderful, but at the same time, it’s completely maddening.  As soon as I think all is well and I’m doing pretty well as a parent one of our kids decides to push their limits.

electronic gadgetsWe’ve recently been dealing with our son.  He has some how come to the conclusion his video games and electronic gadgets are more important than getting homework and chores done.  When we remind him of the things that need to get done he says one of the following: “I know”, “hold on” or “OK!”.  Then continues with what he’s doing.  When we then remind him again, his response is always “oh, I forgot”.  I don’t understand how that’s possible when we just told him 2 minutes prior.

We knew something had to be done, but wasn’t really sure what.  We didn’t know what to do because we hadn’t taken the time as parents to sit down and talk about his behavior and decide what to do about it.  We were both busy and hoped it was just a phase that would go away.

We knew something had to be done immediately when we returned from our week away and heard about Michael’s behavior.  He had continually lied about doing his homework and then yelled when he was called on it.  I was shocked and my husband was furious.  Until recently, our son had always been a great helper and very compliant.

We both wanted to scream at him for his awful behavior, but knew that wouldn’t do us any good.  It homeworktook us about a day before we could talk to him calmly about it.  We kept the explanation simple but the punishment harsh.  We told him we were very disappointed with his behavior while we were gone.  Lying and yelling was not expectable so he was not allowed to play any electronics for the remainder of November. It was November 7th, so for a little over 3 weeks.  I also give him additional homework and chores most nights.  We wanted him to feel the consequences of his actions.

The hardest part, for me, about being a parent, is how they treat me sometimes.  When I hear how wonderful, kind, polite, intelligent and helpful they are when I’m not there it helps me know we are doing something right.  But it’s hard not to take it personal when they are intentionally cruel.  They say it’s because they love me and know I will love them no matter what, but it still breaks my heart.

We have to continually remind ourselves we are their parent not friend and they do love us even though they don’t like us.  I pray daily for God to guide my children and soften their hearts to receive the love we give then each day.  I also pray for God to guide us as parents and help us to love them the way he does when they are misbehaving.  The same way that God loves us even when we are disobedient to him.

Thankfully, about 95% of the time, my children bring love and joy into my heart.  It’s the other 5% of the time I want to scream “Calgon, take me away!”

crazy familyEach of our children are very different and unique from each other, as well as my husband & I.  So our family is quit the crazy bunch.  During good times and bad, there is never a dull moment at our house and I would chose that over boring any day!

My prayer for us today ~ Lord, thank you for the gift of family.  I pray we love one another the way you love us, Amen

A gift from God

Years ago, when Ashley, my oldest daughter, was about 7, a friend told me not to worry about her.  She said everything would be fine because our children were stronger than we gave them credit for.

When Ashley was little, 2-5 years old, I became use to taking care of everything for her.  The Epileptic seizures she experienced and the medicine she was on, made it difficult for her to function as a typical child.  This continued throughout her Elementary School years.  I took all of her responsibilities away from her.  Whenever she did something wrong, I used her ‘disability’ as her excuse.

Toward the end of Ashley’s Elementary School years she grew out of the seizures and no longer needed to take any medication.  I, however, didn’t grow out of my over protective mom phase.  By the time Ashley was in High School, I was suffocating her.  She wanted to do things on her own, and could, but I didn’t know how to let go.  I was afraid for her to fail.  I was afraid she would be laughed at and rejected by her peers and the world.

Thankfully, I found a women’s study group, led by Martha Smalley, on the book ‘Love is a Choice’.  This study helped me realize I had to let her go and try things on her own.  If she was to fall flat on her face, then so be it.  I needed to let her make her own mistakes.  I was to be there to help her up and offer support if she needed it and asked for it.

The friend that offered me advice back when Ashley was 7 knew something I didn’t at the time.  God had Ashley in the palm of HIS hand.  God had/has plans for her and I needed to trust and have faith in it.  I didn’t have a relationship with God when I received this advice, but did when I studied the book ‘Love is a Choice’.

As parents, when our children get older, sometimes the best thing we can do is pray for them.  Let the Lord lead them.  We should be there and offer them help when they fall.  We should always encourage them to do the right thing.  Then help equip them to do the right thing when they choose it.

As a child I helped Ashley, and now, as a young adult, she is helping me.  During her High School and now College years she is studying Digital Media & Film Production.  This website design and all the graphics were done by Ashley.  I feel so honored and blessed to have an amazingly talented daughter.  Especially one who is willing to put up with all my questions and sometimes, not so polite, demands!  Click here, if you would like to check out Ashley’s YouTube Channel.  It’s pretty cool!

My prayer for us today ~ Lord I pray you guide us, so we know when to take a step back, and let You lead our children.  Lord help us to see the many ways our children are a gift from You, Amen

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