Rebecca Duvall

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In His Way

Thank you Hungry Monster Review for this well written, honest and glowing review.

LITERARY TITAN

In His Way5 Stars

In His Way by Rebecca Duvall is a personal journey of her life and how she came to discover God. Duvall goes through many trials in her life. Everything that life could throw, divorce, children, financial situations, and serious illnesses, she faced. It is through this intimate journey you get to know Duvall, her family, and their troubles. You see how she evolves from struggling and thinking that she can only get through this alone and control everything to her discovery of letting go and letting in God. It was not an easy journey, but it is an honest one.

I enjoyed this book and could not put it down. In His Way took me on an emotional adventure. I felt for the author and her family because of the ups and downs they face. In the beginning, she states that she was not always positive and wrote that way…

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Parenting Adults

parenting-adultsA few years ago my oldest child graduated from High School and I entered into a new season of parenting. I don’t know about others who have already entered into this season, but I think this is the most challenging season in regards to parenting.

What do you do when your adult child says “I’m thinking about having sex with ___ (her boyfriend) and I want your opinion.”?  Did your mouth just hit the floor? Well that’s what mine did. As I took a deep breath and quietly prayed for God’s words, I calmly began asking questions, listening and giving her my honest thoughts and why I thought that way. At one point she asked me to leave God out of it, which I told her I didn’t know how to do that. I could tell she was seeking my approval, which I couldn’t give. I did make sure she understood it was her decision to make, not mine. She was the one who had to live with the consequences of her actions, not me. I also made sure she knew I would always love and respect her  regardless of what she decided to do. I may not agree with her choices, but I will never stop being there for her. I thanked her for coming to me and told her how proud I was of her.

When I first became a parent, and with each child I had, I was instantly expected to do everything for this little fragile person, because they couldn’t. I dressed them, feed them, helped them with their bathroom situations, entertained and educated them. I took them where they needed to go and supplied them with everything they needed. I even spoke for them.

As they grew and matured they slowly starting doing things for themselves. They even started to speak for themselves. Not long after this, they began telling me what they needed, when they needed it and why they needed it. As they continued to grow, these needs changed, often, without notice.

With each child, I have three, I noticed that their needs were different and their expectations of how these needs were to be met was different. For example, one was perfectly fine with what was served for dinner but preferred to eat later when it was more convenient for them. The other was fine with eating whenever dinner was ready, but they wanted to have a say about what they ate, because they might not be in the mood for what was being served. The other had no opinion of the time they ate or what they ate, as long as we never forgot to feed them.

With each child, I am always expected to have the answer, no matter what the question. If for some bizarre reason I don’t have the answer they need, I am expected to get it, right away.

Being a parent is an absolutely crazy, beautiful, insane yet fulfilling job. There’s always something to be done or needed. I’m running around, both physically and mentally, twenty-four hours a day. Each day I have no idea what to expect. There is basically no way to prepare for what may come, except believing whatever does come, you will get through it, some how.

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Then, before you know it, the child is an adult. They don’t need you to get them anything, help with anything, take them anywhere, think for them or even speak for them. All they want is for you to let them be.

How do you go from speeding down the runway with them to sitting back in the bleachers watching them in, what seems like, the blink of an eye?

I wish someone had told me, when I had my first child, the importance of letting them grow up. By grow up, I mean, do and think for themselves. I thought being a parent meant taking care of, which in my mind means providing for or doing things for. Now that I look back, it seems obvious that we are to help them so they can eventually do things for themselves. But when in the midst of day-to-day life, it’s easy to get caught up in the doing and simply telling, not giving them an actual chance to try. Then some day we suddenly expect them to know how, by only watching and hearing, not doing.

Once your child has grown up and is no longer in need of your daily assistance, what do you do? This doesn’t change the fact that you are, and always will be, their parent.

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I do a lot of listening. I offer encouragement. I offer advice when asked for. Sometimes I do offer advice when it’s not asked for, but carefully listen for their reaction. When I do give advice, I try my best to explain my reasoning. I don’t want them to feel I’m pushing my ideas onto them. My desire is for them to make a decision that best fits them, not me. Then I try, if possible, to support them.

I pray a lot and seek the prayers of others when things get overwhelming. Giving my concerns and lifting my hearts desires for my children to God brings me peace and helps me let go. My worries only get in the way of my relationship with my children, so I give them to God and trust He knows how best to deal with them.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own. ~ Matthew 6:34

For me, the hardest part about parenting an adult is watching them fall flat on their face. Especially when you see it coming. As hard as it is, sometimes watching them fall is the best thing we can do for them. It helps them mature in many ways. Being there to encourage them as they pick themselves up is a great way to support them.

Once our children become adults, our job is no longer to tell them what to do. They are now adults and we need to love and respect them and their decisions. This doesn’t mean we have to agree with them. We are to treat them the same way we would treat any other adult.

Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31

I don’t think being the parent of an adult gives us the right to tell them what to do or the right to have extra expectations of them; although the temptation is always there. I think it gives us the added responsibility to love, respect and encourage them. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard enough time acting like an adult myself, so I seek God’s wisdom and encouragement when it comes to parenting quite often.

As a parent, we always have eyes watching and learning by our example, no matter what our children’s age.

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for sending your Son, Jesus, to be our example. I pray Your wisdom and patience would help us be the parents you created us to be. May we teach our children about You and Your love for them, Amen.

Deep Sorrow and Joyous Praise

funeral-flowersAs some of you may know, my husband is a Chaplain for First Responders. He works with local Police, Sheriff, Fire, EMS and Dispatchers. He visits these various stations and offers emotional and spiritual support and a helping hand when needed. The call he gets most often is to give a death notification. Which means he has the job of telling someone that their close family member has died, usually because of a tragic unexpected accident.

Very rarely does a week go by that he isn’t called out to give a death notification. As you might imagine, I hear about most calls he goes on, including the death notifications, as well as the follow-ups.

Death is something we all must face at a time unknown. When asked why we must die, the response is usually “because we can’t live forever”. As a believer in Jesus, I think we (Christians), those who believe in God and have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior, can and will live forever. Not forever here on this earth, but eternally in heaven and someday the new earth with Jesus, who is seated at the right hand of God.

Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Romans 8:34

Recently, I heard that a dear friend, who had been fighting her second battle with cancer, had weeks, possibly days, to live. My heart was overwhelmed with sorrow. I thought about her being a light in the community and to anyone she came in contact with. She has a true servants heart with a desire to build the Kingdom of God and share the love of Christ.

I immediately began lifting my sweet friend in prayer, asking God Almighty for a miracle. I believed that He had cured her the first time around, so I asked Him to do it again. A day or two later, I heard things were not looking good, so I added to my prayer. I asked that if He were calling her, His child, home that He would allow her to slip away from us into His loving arms filled with His peace, feeling calm and with no pain.

The next evening, the world lost an amazing woman, a true light.

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For all those who are affected by this devastating loss, I am overwhelmed with sorrow. I pray God will reveal Himself to them in ways that fill them with peace and comfort as they process their grief and adjust to the loss of the relationship they had with her.

For my sister in Christ, I am filled with joyous praise. Why?

  • She has reached her eternal home in heaven with Jesus.
  • I will get to see her again, when God calls me, to my eternal home.
  • Her sorrow, tears and pain have come to an end.
  • God blessed me, and many others, by knowing her

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

My heart breaks for everyone across the world who does not know God, chooses to hold Him at arms length or who simply reject Him. I cannot imagine living eternally without experiencing God’s love, grace and mercy, which we all receive at some level as we walk through this life here on earth.

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for the gift of eternal life with You, through the life Your Son Jesus gave for us. I pray you would soften the heart of those who do not know you so they would see You through the love, compassion and help they receive from others, Amen.

Blessed

satisfied-in-Him4-300x300Have you ever had one of those moments when you felt like you’ve been hit upside the head with a brick? I’m not talking about a light bulb moment, I mean a moment when you realize the stupidity in our actions and the deep desire that comes over you to fall down on your face and cry out to God “forgive me Lord!”

Well, I had that moment while at church. The scripture for the day was Luke 6:17-26. We’ve been going through the book of Luke and I’m enjoying the different parables. Today was about those who will be blessed and those who will not. I thought it was simply a reminder to always help the less fortunate. Wow, was I wrong!

He went down with them and stood on a level place. A large crowd of his disciples was there and a great number of people from all over Judea, from Jerusalem, and from the coastal region around Tyre and Sidon, who had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. Those troubled by impure spirits were cured, and the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all.

Looking at his disciples, he said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. 

“Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

“But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets. Luke 6:17-26

When the Pastor said “being blessed is when you are satisfied doing what God calls you to do” is when I felt the brick hit me upside the head. I had to face the fact that I was not satisfied with what God had called me to. I wanted more!

Months ago, God pointed me in the direction of becoming a Chaplain and revealed a plan to do so. I was so excited to see what doors God would open for me as I entered this new season of my life. I was so excited, that I became annoyed when it didn’t happen in my timing. My plan was to take the necessary course and become a Chaplain before the end of summer. Summer was now more than half over and I had not started the course. I started wondering if maybe God gave me the wrong direction.

Through the statement made by the Pastor, I realized I had not been acting like a person who had been blessed by God. I was not trusting in God’s timing or in His plan. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it NOW. I was not taking into consideration the fact that I was knee deep in work at the church or that I has already committed to helping a dear friend edit her book. I also was not factoring in that it was summer, which was time for family fun, not extra work.

Thankfully, God was aware of every detail and had it all perfectly planned. Things are now calm and steady at church, my friend is able to work on her book with her own computer and plans have been made with the family that will take us through the summer.

As my schedule lightened, I was officially approved for the Chaplaincy course and ready to start. I’m embarrassed and frustrated with myself for my poor behavior. I can’t believe that I once again had a three-year-old tantrum when God didn’t give me what I wanted when I felt I needed it. I hope and pray that next time, when faced with waiting upon God, I will do better and not freak out when things don’t go as I expect them to.

Jesus took the sins of the world, our sins, upon Himself on the cross, so when I realized the error of my ways, I was able to seek forgiveness and be forgiven. Is there something you would like God’s forgiveness for?

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for the patience you have with us. Lord, I pray you would open our eyes to see our stubbornness and give us the strength, courage and wisdom to seek your forgiveness. May we always be satisfied doing what you call us to do, Amen.

Love

StrawberryThe Fruit of the Spirit this week is Love. I’ve chosen a strawberry since it’s often used to represent love due to its shape that’s similar to a heart.

When you love someone, their happiness is important to you. You behave in a kind and caring way toward them and wish to protect and support them, in a selfless manner.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.1 Corinthians 13:1-3

The above scripture tells us that it’s pointless to say, know or do anything without love. Love is the key to making an impact for the Kingdom of God. What are ways you can demonstrate love in the way you speak, through what you know or how you react?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

These verses tell us, as discussed in an earlier post (Godly Love), what love, in the eyes of God, look like. I use this scripture as a checklist to see where I’m struggling (usually in multiple areas). It helps me know what I should be praying for. I find myself having a hard time not keeping a record of people’s wrongs, which then causes me to have a hard time trusting. What aspect of love are you struggling with right now?

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:8-13

This piece of scripture opens with the statement ‘love never fails’ and ends by telling us that the three gifts from the Holy Spirit to remain are faith, hope and love, with love being the most important to have. The speculations, words and knowledge of man will fade away, but our faith, hope and love in God will never fail us. This makes me want to focus my attention more on the Word of God, than of man, because the Bible is the key to our hope and faith, which will lead us to a love that never fails.

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for Your Word, and the guidance it gives with the help of the Holy Spirit. I pray we would love You and others, even those we see as enemies, the way You love us, Amen.

Joy

watermelonThe Fruit of the Spirit this week is Joy. I’ve chosen a watermelon because it’s a fruit I usually eat in the summer months, which means the weather is most likely hot, and experiencing the heat (90+) brings me great joy.

Joy is a feeling of great happiness. It’s when you are pleased or happy. Joy is when you experience an emotion of great delight caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

Rejoice always ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16

When you encounter joy you can’t help but rejoice. You show or express outwardly, the joy you feel. When I’m experiencing a joyous moment, my go to reaction is usually to cry or weep. For example, I recently sent my son off, on his 13th birthday, to camp with a group from our church. I was extremely happy for him and excited to hear, when he returned, how he encountered God while there. This brought me great joy, so of course I had many moments, while saying our goodbyes, of secretly sobbing behind my sunglasses. How do you usually react when overcome with joy?

Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. ~Psalm 47:1

Praising God during worship on Sunday mornings fills me with joy and I often find myself unable to sing (not that I could). I become overcome with joy thinking of what God has done for me through His Son, Jesus. I use to try desperately to hold back the tears, afraid it would make someone uncomfortable or I would be seen as an over emotional weirdo. I can handle the later, because in reality, I am. What brings you great joy?

Do not be full of joy when the one who hates you falls. Do not let your heart be glad when he trips. The Lord will see it and will not be pleased, and He will turn away His anger from him. ~Proverbs 24:17-18

There are times, as explained in Proverbs 24, when it is not a proper time to feel joy. When we do let ourselves express joy, outwardly or even within our hearts or minds, we can lose a blessing from God.

True joy is a gift given to us through the Holy Spirit. When our hearts and minds are focused on the goodness of God we can experience joy, regardless of our circumstances.

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit, which enables us to see the joy you offer us rather than the joys within the world. I pray we would keep the worldly things behind us as we focus on Jesus and what He has done for us, Amen.

Peace

grapesThe Fruit of the Spirit this week is Peace. I’ve chosen grapes because they grow together in a group, a community. We grow best, when together with a community, rather than alone. A community does better as a whole when its members feel at peace and not restless.

Peace has many different definitions and is described in assorted ways by various people. How would you explain peace?

Those who experience peace are not easily disturbed and feel calm and not worried about life in general. People who encounter peace live and work well together with others in a friendly way.

When you are at peace, you feel secure, your mind is free from annoyance, distraction, anxiety and obsession. You are untroubled, tranquil and content. Are you at peace within your circumstances today?

Experiencing peace has nothing to do with having an easy life or your circumstances. How you react in different situations in your life can show others if you are at peace or in turmoil. Would other describe you at a person at peace or in turmoil?

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9 

I find this passage in Philippians is comforting as well as encouraging. It reminds me to bring every situation, with a thankful heart, to God, because God alone can offer us peace as we walk through the trials and tribulations of life. As we pray, talk with God, seek to have a relationship with Him, He will be with us. God doesn’t wish for us to be anxious about anything. He calls us to bring all our troubles to him, so we can experience the peace He desires us to have. How have you experienced God’s peace?

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for the peace you offer us, regardless of our sinful nature. I pray we would turn our troubles over to you before they can cause havoc in our heart and mind. My we seek Your peace and not the peace offered from the world, Amen.

 

 

 

Patience

pomegranateThe Fruit of the Spirit this week is Patience. I’ve chosen a pomegranate because it’s a fruit that takes time and effort to eat. You cannot simply grab it and take a bite. You must work at it. First open it, and then get through the maze of its inner pieces to get to the scrumptious juicy morsels inside. This my friend takes patience.

Patience is being able to stay calm and not get annoyed under any circumstance. A patient person can also bear provocation, misfortune or pain without complaining, losing their temper or becoming irritated. A patient person is quiet, works with steady perseverance and is even-tempered.

Patience is the one thing I often hear we should not pray for, because God will answer by giving us a situation in which patience is needed. I don’t know about you, but I think patience is the most difficult Fruit of the Spirit to master. When have you seen someone demonstrate patience? How did it affect your mood or behavior?

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:9-14

As it says in Colossians, we as believers in Christ Jesus, have the ability to call upon His power, which will strengthen us, equipping us with the patience needed within our circumstances. When we lose our temper or become irritated, it’s because we have taken our focus off our heavenly Father and looked to our own selfish desires or needs. You see, only God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit can enable us to demonstrate true patience in all situations.

I lack patience with my family more often than I should. I lose my temper when they don’t treat me the way I think they should and then I fail greatly at being quiet. I can even get irritated when they don’t take my advice and do what I think they should. Imagine that! When have you lost your patience? Without a doubt, I always seem to lose mine when I don’t take that second to call upon Jesus in the difficult times.

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank You for Your patience with us. You shower us with love, grace and mercy every day, offering guidance. I pray we would call upon the power of Jesus and the help of the Holy Spirit, so we too may serve with patience in all areas of our lives, Amen.

Kindness

AppleThe Fruit of the Spirit this week is Kindness. I’ve chosen an apple to represent kindness because students often give teachers an apple as a way of saying thank you, or at least they use to. When a student gives a teacher an apple, it’s an act of kindness.

Kindness is a state of being. It’s when you choose to be friendly, generous or considerate of others. I think kindness is contagious. When we act this way toward others, it inspires them to respond kindly to those they encounter, which causes a ripple affect.

You are acting with kindness when you behave in a gentle, caring and helpful way toward others. When you make an effort to help clean up a mess, even when you didn’t take part in making it. Kindness is shown when we check in on someone that we know is going through a difficult time. Who in your life is God calling you to check in on?

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Kindness is not causing disruption or preventing something from happening, as it should. I have a hard time with this one. I tend to argue with God and His plan and timing of things. I get excited, then impatient, and try to make things happen in my way when I think it should happen.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

We are not being an example of kindness when we behave in a mean, harsh or cruel manner, showing ill will or hostility toward someone or something. This means that when you don’t get what you wanted (when eating out or going to a movie) having a bad attitude is not an acceptable behavior. It’s seen as being rude and unappreciative. I know I’m guilty of being one of the first to point out when someone else has a bad attitude but am usually blind to my own bad behavior.

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:8-9

As it says in 1 Peter, we are to be a blessing, show kindness, even when kindness is not being shown to you. Who in your life can use a dose of kindness?

My prayer to us today ~ Father God, You lavish us with your kindness daily, even when we do not deserve it. I pray the Holy Spirit would open our eyes and heart to see how we may lavish others with kindness, Amen.

 

Goodness

bananaThe Fruit of the Spirit this week is goodness. I’ve chosen a banana to represent goodness because a banana is a good addition to many things, such as pancakes or oatmeal. People have the choice, multiple times a day, to be a good addition or not so good addition to circumstances throughout their day.

Goodness is the quality of being kind, helpful and honest. When our actions portray these qualities, we are choosing to bring goodness into our situation or circumstance. Other characteristics of goodness are when we strive for moral excellence, act generously or think and do what is right.

Too often, people act in a way that is not good because they let their feelings over ride their common sense. This could cause us to act in an unfriendly way, create white lies or intentionally hinder another in their efforts.

We constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. 2 Thessalonians 1:11

Isn’t that verse in 2 Thessalonians encouraging? We can ask God to fill others with His goodness. When we feel someone is not being good in a situation, we can pray for God to give them the desire to do the right thing as well as help us see the goodness in this person or situation.

Better yet, we can ask others to pray for us to be filled with His Goodness. We don’t naturally have the desire to be good. Naturally, we want to do what we feel is good for us, which is usually not good for us or anyone else around us. By God’s power, and His power alone, we can be filled with the desire to do what is good, in God’s eyes, in all situations. We still have to act on this desire, but having the desire is half the battle.

I often have a hard time knowing the difference between what is good for me or a situation or circumstance. Others easily sway me, especially when they speak passionately about something. That’s why I lean heavily on the counsel of the Holy Spirit to discern between what I feel is good and how God desires me to portray His goodness. When have you made an effort to show goodness when you felt like acting badly? How do you think that situation would have turned out if you let your feelings run the show?

My prayer for us today ~ Father God, You are good to all, regardless of our circumstances. I pray You would teach us to be good to one another, regardless of how we are feeling, Amen.

 

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