Lately, I continue to find myself getting caught up in the decisions of others. Decisions, I feel, they are making poorly. It’s difficult to see someone, especially someone you love, make bad choices. Choices you know will have bad results. How do I know they will turn out bad? Because they’ve made the same choices in the past and I have seen the outcome. I know the results will not change, because the circumstances have not changed. Results that are painful. Painful to not only themselves, but to those around them as well.
Naturally, when I see someone falling, making a bad decision, I want to step in and offer help or advice. I want to tell them what they should or should not be doing. Even though I know they will not take my advice. Even though doing so might upset them and sometimes cause them to react in an unkind way.
Why would someone react unkindly? Wouldn’t you? How do you feel when someone tells you how you should be doing something when you didn’t ask for help or advice? I’m guessing irritated or upset. I know I usually am. Especially when you don’t see anything wrong with what you’re doing.
A few years ago I was told you shouldn’t give help or advice unless it’s asked for. But what if you know the person is doing something in error or about to make a bad decision, what do you do then? It’s ok to offer the help or advice, but it’s their choice to take you up on the offer. If they choose not to take your help then you must drop it.
It hurts when the person you’re trying to help can’t see how much you care for them. How much it hurts you to see them in pain. They fail to see your desire to help them avoid the pain you see staring them in the face.
Your help has been rejected and now you’re filled with pain and worry. What do you do with that? I was in such a predicament recently and a dear sweet friend said “Let it go”. Those three simple words caused the light bulb to go off. How was I supposed to let it go? Simple. Give it to God.
Why should I give it to God? I don’t believe God wishes for me to be in anguish over another, to worry unnecessarily about something I have no control over or to force my opinion upon others.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
Many people throughout our lives will do things we cannot, and will not, understand. Instead of trying to understand why someone is doing something we don’t agree with, we can leave it in God’s hands. We can pray they see what God desires for them to do. We can pray they seek God’s will for their life. We can pray God opens their heart to accept help and advice from those He puts in their path. Then we trust that God is working in their life. We believe that if there is anything God desires us to do for them, He will equip us to do so. He will make our paths straight. Hallelujah! That’s amazing right?!
My prayer for us today ~ Father God, thank you for always being there with your arms stretched out waiting for us to reach out to you. I pray, Lord, we seek your guidance first when the desire to help consumes us, so we may then rest in knowing you were in it and your ways are best.