Being a parent is wonderful, but at the same time, it’s completely maddening. As soon as I think all is well and I’m doing pretty well as a parent one of our kids decides to push their limits.
We’ve recently been dealing with our son. He has some how come to the conclusion his video games and electronic gadgets are more important than getting homework and chores done. When we remind him of the things that need to get done he says one of the following: “I know”, “hold on” or “OK!”. Then continues with what he’s doing. When we then remind him again, his response is always “oh, I forgot”. I don’t understand how that’s possible when we just told him 2 minutes prior.
We knew something had to be done, but wasn’t really sure what. We didn’t know what to do because we hadn’t taken the time as parents to sit down and talk about his behavior and decide what to do about it. We were both busy and hoped it was just a phase that would go away.
We knew something had to be done immediately when we returned from our week away and heard about Michael’s behavior. He had continually lied about doing his homework and then yelled when he was called on it. I was shocked and my husband was furious. Until recently, our son had always been a great helper and very compliant.
We both wanted to scream at him for his awful behavior, but knew that wouldn’t do us any good. It took us about a day before we could talk to him calmly about it. We kept the explanation simple but the punishment harsh. We told him we were very disappointed with his behavior while we were gone. Lying and yelling was not expectable so he was not allowed to play any electronics for the remainder of November. It was November 7th, so for a little over 3 weeks. I also give him additional homework and chores most nights. We wanted him to feel the consequences of his actions.
The hardest part, for me, about being a parent, is how they treat me sometimes. When I hear how wonderful, kind, polite, intelligent and helpful they are when I’m not there it helps me know we are doing something right. But it’s hard not to take it personal when they are intentionally cruel. They say it’s because they love me and know I will love them no matter what, but it still breaks my heart.
We have to continually remind ourselves we are their parent not friend and they do love us even though they don’t like us. I pray daily for God to guide my children and soften their hearts to receive the love we give then each day. I also pray for God to guide us as parents and help us to love them the way he does when they are misbehaving. The same way that God loves us even when we are disobedient to him.
Thankfully, about 95% of the time, my children bring love and joy into my heart. It’s the other 5% of the time I want to scream “Calgon, take me away!”
Each of our children are very different and unique from each other, as well as my husband & I. So our family is quit the crazy bunch. During good times and bad, there is never a dull moment at our house and I would chose that over boring any day!
My prayer for us today ~ Lord, thank you for the gift of family. I pray we love one another the way you love us, Amen