Rebecca Duvall

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A Bad Attitude

Over a year ago my ex-husband lost his job.  Like many others, it wasn’t his fault.  The company he worked for had to cut back.  He looked for work, but there just wasn’t much out there.  It seems especially hard for those who have a specific skill set.

When he first lost his job I felt bad for him.  I would encourage him to keep looking and prayed for God to lead him to a job that would fit him well.  After a few months, I became annoyed.  He always paid the child support he could, but it wasn’t what I had planned to meet our monthly budgeted expenses.  His lack of work was affecting our monthly bottom line.  We had to cut back on our monthly expenses or take money out of our savings to make ends meet each month.

I knew he didn’t like not being able to help with the kids financially each month and was looking for work.  He even took side jobs when he could.  I still found myself getting irritated as time went on.  I didn’t like that his circumstances were affecting us.

One afternoon before driving out to pick up the girls from their dad, I was working on our budget.  I realized I AGAIN had to transfer money to cover the monthly expenses.  With Robert being medically retired and me not working, we are on a tight fixed monthly income.  Of course we could have cut back, again, financially.  We’ve already cut back so much.  I thought it wasn’t fair for us to have to cut back more.

Later when it was time to pick up the girls, I was extremely annoyed.  I thought, I shouldn’t have to meet their dad half way for him to see the girls.  He should have to come get them if he wants to see them.  About half way there, feeling irritated with all the traffic I was experiencing, Amy, my daughter, called and said the car broke down.  After finding out where they were and making sure they were safe I told her I would be there as soon as I could.  When I hung up I was mad.  Now I would have to drive even further than planned.  I thought, not only am I financially strained because of him, but now I have to go out of my way.

At that very moment I was convicted by God.  I felt like a kid being scolded by their parent.  God spoke to my heart.  He reminded me to be thankful for the steady income we could always rely on.  Thankful to have a savings when needed.  He also reminded me how we came to have the savings.  (That’s another story I’ll share some day.)  To be thankful I had a working car and had the time to drive the extra miles.

I felt ashamed for being so angry and selfish.  I was so busy complaining about how his circumstances were affecting me that I couldn’t see what they were doing to him.  He didn’t do anything to create his circumstances and certainly didn’t deserve them.

The rest of the trip I prayed asking God to forgive me for my bad attitude.  I thanked Him for all the blessings He had given to me and my family.  I thanked God for the girl’s dad.  He did take great care of them while Robert and I were healing from our surgeries.

That day God reminded me we are to treat everyone with love and compassion, regardless of their circumstances.  Just as it says in Luke 6:31 ‘Treat others in the same way that you would want them to treat you.’

My prayer for us today ~ Lord, when we stray from your path or act in a way that is not glorifying to You, I pray you set us straight in a mighty and bold way, Amen.

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