Rebecca Duvall

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Wrestling with God

At the end of last year my husband and I had surgery.  I donated a Kidney to him, but that’s an entirely different story.  Anyway, we both needed to take some time off from our daily routines of life to heal after surgery.  I was told the surgery would be traumatizing to my body, so I needed to be patient and let my body properly heal.  My husband healed rather quickly.  He had been sick for so long that as soon as he started feeling better he jumped right back into life.

It took me much longer to heal completely, almost 3 months.  Once my body was healed and ready to get back to my regular routine, my mind wasn’t.  My mind had become lazy.  I kept hearing “sit down, relax, it can wait”.

While at a seminar on ‘Quiet time with God’, a lady shared how God started waking her up at 4am when she attended the seminar the previous year.  She didn’t like it at first, but when she gave that time to God her days began flowing better.  She was, and continues to be, blessed by God through the time she spends with Him each morning.

After hearing that story, I laughed inside and thought “God wouldn’t dare do that to me.  He knows I can not function that early in the morning!”.  Well guess what?  God did wake me up at 4am the next morning.  I wasn’t happy.  There I was lying in bed wide awake.  I refused to get out of bed.  I didn’t budge until my alarm went off at 6am.

This continued for about 2 weeks.  I would toss and turn for 2 hours upset with God for waking me up and refusing to get up.  I started each of those days exhausted from the moment I rolled out of bed.  I then continued my day feeling unorganized and discombobulated.  I felt lost!

I told a friend how I was feeling and how God had been waking me up at 4am every day.  As I was telling her how I was handling it I realized how lazy I had become since the surgery.  God was trying to get my attention.  It was time for me to refocus and get back to life, back to living for Him.

That night before bed I set my alarm for 4am.  To be honest, I was not cheerful about it.  I wish I could say I jumped out of bed joyfully the next morning, but I can’t.  I moaned and groaned for about 30 minutes before finally getting up.  I sat on the couch in the family room and prayed.  I thanked God for loving me so much to wake me up each day.  I thanked Him for putting up with my whining for weeks and patiently waiting for me to return to what He called me to do.  I then asked for his help.  To take the lazy thoughts away and fill my mind with the plans He has for me.

I now get up before the kids each morning, thankfully not 4am.  While I get ready each day I am able to chat with God about the day to come.  The house is quiet, so I find it easier to hear God when He has something to say.  Just like the lady who shared during the seminar, I find my days run smoother when I start it off with God.

My prayer for us today ~ Lord I thank you for the never ending love and grace you give to us each day.   I pray you convict us when we stray from the path You have laid out for us, Amen


  1. wegotrhythm1 says:

    Hi Rebecca – I am Lisa O’Hara (Comm. Chaplain, LEC-S) and absolutely love your posts. You are so personable, sharing such beautiful thoughts and after reading this post, now I know why I have been summoned at 4:00 a.m. myself to awaken. Wow…that’s amazing. It must be His time! Bless you and I hope to meet you one day. My phone no: 628-9599. Pls call and get together. You and Robert are invited to my home which I share with Al Paso, house-mate, who is also a Recruit Community Chaplain.


  2. YunAe Mello says:

    Rebecca, thank you for sharing. You are such a great example of what can come from listening to God’s gentle prompting.

  3. […] Choosing to take part in any of the above things can cause us to become lazy, which can lead to poverty. Poverty, material and/or spiritual, will lead us down a path of desperation, which can bring about a corrupt mouth followed by disaster and ultimately destruction that is unfixable. Wow! That’s harsh. If you remember the previous chapters, wisdom to help us avoid this is always offered to us by God. We have the choice whether or not we accept and use this wisdom. We are also given a glimpse of what could happen if we ignore His wisdom. Have you ever been overcome by folly, or laziness? I certainly have. A few years ago, I gave my husband a kidney and was told I needed to take it easy so my body could properly heal. While my body healed my mind became lazy. I became all to aware of how things could be put off or not done at all. It took a severe kick in the pants from God to get myself up off the couch and back into life. You can read more about this on my post ‘Wrestling With God’. […]

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